Freephone on Skype

I'm a modern man,a man for the millennium,digital and smoke-free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist. Politically,anatomically,and ecologically incorrect. I've been uplinked and downloaded,I've been inputted and outsourced,I know the upside of downsizing,I know the downside of upgrading. I'm a high-tech lowlife. A cutting-edge,state-of-the-art,bicoastal multitasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I'm new wave,but I'm old school,and my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hot-wired,heat-seeking,warm-hearted cool customer,voice-activated and biodegradable. I interface with my database,and my database is in cyberspace,so I'm interactive,I'm hyperactive,and from time to time I'm radioactive. Behind the eight ball,ahead of the curve,riding the wave,dodging a bullet,pushing the envelope. I'm on point,on task,on message,and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed,I got no urge to binge and purge. I'm in the moment,on the edge,over the top,but under the radar. A high-concept,low-profile,medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb,a top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties,I tell power lies,I take power naps,I run victory laps. I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach. A raging workaholic;a working rageaholic. Out of rehab,and in denial. I've got a personal trainer,a personal shopper,a personal assistant,and a personal agenda. You can't shut me up,you can't dumb me down. 'Cause I'm tireless,and I'm wireless,I'm an alpha male on beta blockers. I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever,laid-back but fashion forward. Up front,down home,low-rent,high-maintenance. Super-size,long-lasting,high-definition,fast-acting,oven-ready,and built to last. I'm a hands-on,foot-loose,knee-jerk,headcase. Prematurely post-traumatic,and I have a love child who sends me hate mail. But I'm feeling,I'm caring,I'm healing,I'm sharing,a supportive bonding nurturing primary caregiver. My output is down,but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond,and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk mail,I eat junk food,I buy junk bonds,I watch trash sports. I'm gender-specific,capital-intensive,user-friendly,and lactose-intolerant. I like rough sex,I like tough love,I use the F-word in my E-Mail,and the software on my hard drive is hardcore,no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a mini mall;I bought a mini van in a mega store. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I'm toll-free,bite-sized,ready-to-wear,and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped,factory-authorized,hospital-tested,clinically-proven,scientifically formulated medical miracle. I've been pre-washed,pre-cooked,pre-heated,pre-screened,pre-approved,pre-packaged,post-dated,freeze-dried,double-wrapped,vacuum-packed,and I have an unlimited broadband capacity. I'm a rude dude,but I'm the real deal,lean and mean. Cocked,locked and ready to rock. Rough tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow,I go with the flow,I ride with the tide,I got glide in my stride. Drivin' and movin',sailin' and spinnin',jivin' and groovin',wailin' and winnin.' I don't snooze,so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty,and lunch time is crunch time. I'm hanging in,there ain't no doubt. And I'm hanging tough,over and out.